. i need to vent .

So.
where do i start?
i'm frustrated.... capital F. why? because it seems as if we will never ever catch up to our debt. thats the major frustration. i'm so sick of working for free.... i'm sick of getting "paid" and having it already gone. i'm sick of wondering "what if i did this instead of this in my life" i'm sick of being frustrated.
i'm so mad at myself for not finishing out school. its too late now, i dont know what i want to do with my life. i can't afford to not work, and i'm currently looking for a part time job, on top of my full time job. thats frustrating. i'm sick of having credit card people call me telling me my payment is due in a week. no fucking way? i can read assholes, and yes i'll get it to you. when is the question. sorry i cant give it to you if my bank account has no money. i have nothing.
well i have a house. a loving fiance. 2 nice vehicles. and 3 more than loving dogs. i know i could be worse off, but jeez, come on. give me a break. i really wish i could get one paycheck.... just ONE, and be able to say, ahhh i'll throw it in savings, i dont have anything i need to pay for. i'm frustrated with my job. who the hell wants to SELL bank accounts. i signed up for customer service not selling shit. and please, quit freaking hounding me because i dont have my referral goals met. come on, its a flipping bank, i'm not a car salesman. you want peoples money to stay at the bank? well then dont piss them off so they move elsewhere.... i swear, some people dont get it. head haunchoes at work dont know SHIT. and i'm sick of them thinking they do.
lets see.... what else.
i'm sick of seeing the 'effing indians and mexicans throw their money around like its no big deal. well hey assholes listen here.... i actually have to WORK for my money, and yet i have NONE. you guys get to sit around and inherit money, get paid because you have blood. shit, i wish i had that luxury.

i'm really sick of everyone having babies.... can we say slap in the face to allie? cool. really cool.

as i sit here... marley comes and rests her head on my knee and pulls the puppy eyes... she is to die for. i love her. and i have to get rid of her. i hate that. shes becoming a great dog, and i'm going to have a really hard time letting go of her to just anyone.

i miss my days of no responsibilities. getting a paycheck to pay my cellphone bill and thats it. gosh, i really miss that. a lot.

ok. i feel a little better. until tomorrow when it all starts over.
do i need anti depressants or what? i have a hard time dealing with all of this. i feel like i've made a lot of mistakes and theres no turning back now. i'm pissed that my credit is now screwed. i'm so pissed.
.............. wow, i'm really sorry for all of the naughty words, but thats how i feel.

so for the "good news" in life.
wedding invites are "done" and i say "done" because there are a few addresses i still need.
i need to call the pastor tomorrow.... note to self.
hoepfully i can get a girls weekend in with mom and grams, were gonna go find mom a dress for the wedding.

yep, thats it for the good news. notice the venting was much longer.


..................i feel like there is something wrong with that..................

till next time friends.