it's gonna get better.... right?

My favorite little guy....


I need some serious encouragement... I just dont know.
I'ts bound to get better right? It's still SO hard for me to figure out why we lost our baby... and it seems now that its worse than ever, especially since my sister in law is just tearing at the seams with her pregnancy. I wish I could just fast forward life, I'm not patient. I wish I could go on a life long vacation. Away... far away. Italy would be good, where noone could get ahold of me and I could start over. That is my dream. I just continue to wonder what path God has me going on... I dont like the unknown. I'm just blah. Yep that's the best way to describe how I feel. Blah. Numb? yes. Dislike. A lot.
I have decided though one thing. If I'm not going to be pregnant... I'm gonna be skinny. :) yep. Thats it.
I finally had an interview at the Vet's Home, I pray to God every night that I get the job, we NEED me to get that job, I'm sick of struggling, emotionally, financially and physically. There's only so much one can take.
LoveBug is going to the Animal Rescue League tomorrow. He's too naughty to be part of our family. He is mean to Bella and he has marked everything in my basement.... asshole.
We went and picked raspberries last night... yum-o :)
I'm going back to school to finish what I need to get into nursing school . I can do it, I have to, for me and my future family.
With the nasty weather that we have had around here I think this weekend I'm going to be taking pictures of everything I own so if the time comes that insurance has to replace it I dont get screwed. I'm seeing a lot of that with the tornado like weather they had in Garwin. It sucks that most of my stuff is sentimental... I just hope that we never have to go through that. Dont be suprised if you see a few of my favorite things on my next few posts.... just so I know they are always accessible.
Ok, well that's all for now I guess... just needed to vent.